Monday, 13 January 2014

Satan's Satyrs - Wild Beyond Belief (album review)

Dear Rock n Roll,

I bet you wonder what the fuck happened to me, huh?  (I'll get to that in a minute) I bet you cried when you got home and saw all my stuff was gone and you realized that I wasn't coming back.  See, that's the problem.  I see now that you lack the confidence to be all that you could be and that you were holding me back.  Sorry if this is all coming out so harsh, but I realize now how PISSED I am at you because I really do care about you, but I see now how you were holding YOURSELF back.  You have so much potential Rock n Roll.  You could go so far in life.  I really believed in you.  In us.  But, you're a pussy at heart.

While you were playing your unplugged acoustic show at the Ironic Name Disco, I got bored and went out back to have a smoke.  That's when I met them.  They were burning down a church and kicking a hobo down the street in a trash can.  They couldn't give a fuck and they don't take any shit.  They were Satan's Satyrs and they were Wild Beyond Belief.  They took me on the back of one of their hogs and since then we've only stopped long enough for me to pick up my shit and write you this letter.  I don't know when we'll ever stop again, probably when they're all in their graves and me along with them.  I'm not suicidal.  Far from it, I've never felt so alive!  But I understand that this is a kamikaze mission, and that's the way it should have been with us, but like I said, you're a pussy.

I saw you standing there that first time, all those years back, staring at me all vulnerable with your piercings and tattoos.  All this time I thought you were the Bad Boy, but I was SO wrong.  I've found a gang of Real Men.  All those weekend nights you wore your "I don't give a fuck" attitude like a costume, then it was back to the office on Monday morning.  The Satyrs walk the walk 24/7.  Do my words hurt you?  Are you going to write a 7-minute long ballad about it?  Satan's Satyrs and me, we don't have time for that shit.  We just get out on the open road and hassle the man, put a good scare into the wage slaves and working stiffs.  We drove a station wagon off the road, into a tree last week and we don't feel any remorse about it, because you always have a choice don't you?  You have a choice in life to be a loser or taste freedom and take what you want from this world at the tip of a blade.  And you made your choice, didn't you Rock n Roll?  Didn't you!  You better hope to your god that we never find you out on the open road.

So I just wrote you to say, you don't cut it for me anymore Rock n Roll.  You never could satisfy me, not really.  You'd always take me right up to the edge, then pull back.  Why?  Was it out of fear?  Fear of the consequences of truly letting go?  That's what freedom is, but I guess you don't get it, do you?  You never could take me all the way and you never will.  I'd like to say I'm sorry for saying these things and that I'm sorry for you, but I'm not.  I'm sorry for me!  All those years wasted with you, when I could have been getting wasted on pure adrenalin with Satan's Satyrs.

Well, I got to go now Rock n Roll.  Bye.  I hope you learn how to let yourself go, take a walk on the wild side and know what it is to truly be alive one day, I really do.  But I can't drag you up to the Satyrs level, you've got to do that on your own.  We've got some puppies to kick, flowers to trample, fake bomb threats to issue, flaming poop bags to leave and chaos to sew.

Later, loser.

P.S., don't try to talk to me if you see me standing outside our old apartment with all my stuff.  The Satyrs told me they'd be coming by to pick me up in 20 minutes.  That was 12 hours ago, but ... they'll be here ... they'll come back for me ... you'll see ...

Highlights include: "Satan's Satyrs" and "Bellydancer's Delight"

Rating: 5/5


Total Run Time: 39:37

Clayton "Claytanas" Burgess: Bass, Vocals
Jarrett Nettnin: Guitar
Stephen Fairfield: Drums

From: Herndon, Virginia

Genre: Biker Doom, Punk

Reminds me of: Asomvel, Blue Cheer, Early Mammal, Electric Wizard, MC5, The Stooges

Release Date: (re-issue on Bad Omen Records) November 1, 2013

Satan's Satyrs on facebook


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